


See you soon...

by Donna



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-12 06:07:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2098488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donna/pseuds/Donna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some times we get too wrapped up in ourselves to smell the roses.</p>
            </blockquote>





	See you soon...

**Author's Note:**

> Love those that you can while you can. You never know what tomorrow will bring...

“Why? You FUCKING BASTARD, WHY?” Adam glances around the room trying in vain to find something to break, to destroy. The same way his heart feels...destroyed. Broken into little pieces. Ripped out of his chest and stomped to death. 

Flowers. Everywhere scattered around the room in a variety of different colored vases. So bright and pretty, when his world has sunk into shades of black and grey. How they mock him, make fun of his heartbreak. How dare they live when the color has been removed from his life?

Adam rushes towards the closest vase, pulls the flowers out in handfuls and rips them apart, throwing them around the room. Stomping on them. His hands catch on thorns. The feeling of his skin ripping over and over brings his heartache into sharp relief. This is all he will know from now on—a dull, throbbing pain that won't recede, that will rip open and bleed with each movement and thought.

Daisy, wildflower, rose, tulip, baby's breath—they all end up on the floor, Adam's foot falls grinding them into the carpet. He makes his way slowly around the room, tears blurring the colorful creation he leaves behind. Somewhere along the way he hears glass breaking; realizes that he must have knocked over a vase in his haste to get his hands on more flowers. The sound of glass hitting the floor brings a small feeling of vindication—so he returns to the empty vases he left behind, shattering them all. 

When he reaches the last vase he realizes what he's done. Turning around he spies shattered pieces of colored glass. The sight brings no relief, no satisfaction. He knows he should feel shame but he cannot bring himself to care. But the last vase...

Adam reads the small card attached to the vase—he recognizes the name. After a moment he sighs, picks up the vase and returns it to the sight that brought on his rage and torment.

He places the vase down on a pedestal at the head of Tommy's casket.

Adam's voice begins to break as he kneels next to the casket, tears flowing once again as he chokes out “These are from your grandmother, Tommy. I'm sorry I destroyed the others. Your mom will never forgive me.” 

Tommy looks so handsome in his black suit, his hands folded over his stomach. He looks so...peaceful. 

“I hate you. I hate you for leaving me. For refusing to tell me the thoughts that were running through that stupid head of yours before you decided to end it. For thinking that you can handle it all on your own. For not wanting to 'burden me' with your problems. I hate it all and I hate you for leaving me to face the rest of my life alone without you by my side.”

“But most of all I hate myself. I hate that I didn't see your pain. That I was so wrapped up in my own stupid life that I did not see how badly you needed me. How I brushed off your fear and played down your emotions. How I was so wrapped up in my own situation that I could not see beyond it to how you were struggling. I will go to MY grave hating myself for all this and more, Tommy Joe. How...” Adam's voice is gone, reduced to whispers “...can I ever live without you???”

Adam continues to stare at Tommy as if waiting for him to open his eyes and smile that sweet smile he knows so well. To call him baby again and open his arms for a hug, his eyes twinkling brightly like they always did when he saw Adam. It hits Adam just how much he has always taken for granted, how he's always taken HIS BABY for granted. And now he's gone forever.

Adam stands on shaky legs and, holding tight to the side of the casket, leans down to kiss Tommy's lips one last time. Warm lips meet cold. A chill runs down Adam's spine. 

He never thought their last kiss would be like this...

Adam notices the tears that now grace Tommy's cheeks—his tears. A parting gift to the man he wanted to marry, to spend the rest of his life with. 

“I can't hate you, Tommy Joe...even though you left me behind. I can't...” Out of the corner of his eye he notices two roses that have somehow escaped destruction. The two are connected by the same stem. 

Reaching down, Adam picks them up and stares at them a moment before tearing the stem in half. Placing one rose in the button hole of Tommy's suit, he carefully cups the other in his hand to protect it from damage. 

Adam whispers “Bye baby. Please wait for me at the Pearly Gates.” Squeezing Tommy's hand one last time he walks towards the door, the rose gently cupped to his heart. He turns back and gives Tommy a sad smile as whispers “I'll be seeing you soon.”


End file.
